ELECTION RESULT : ELECTION RESULT : ELECTION RESULT
News just in. Clean Shave has beaten sitting the sitting MP, Shaggy Beard, to claim the right to represent John’s Face. After three days frantic discussion, debating and voting, the people of ‘Friends List’ have made their voices clear. The need for change was clear, the people had mandated it and it was up-to the democratic mechanisms to follow through.
As the handover of power occurs (pictured above), people were given the chance to muse upon the reason for the change in fortune. At first it was thought that water warming, recently increasing due to replacement of the boiler, was the reason for change. However this was only a catalyst for peopel to examine the true impact of John's Beard. D.Bradwell, long time friend of the constituency, recalled the words of Cromwell and Churchill when asked the opinion of now-departed Shaggy, ‘In the God, Go’*. Similar passion was on the side of the clean shave skeptics who often talked of how they had benefitted from representation by Shaggy Beard. However, the votes were staking up and from last night onwards it looked clear that the time for action was here. Due to misplacement of the returning office, Ms Shav Ing Cream, some feared that the result would just be ‘noted’, meaning action wouldn’t have to be taken and the whole exercise would have been wasted. Thankfully the people of Johns Wallet stepped in and facilitated trade with Midlands Cooperative to ensure justice was delivered.
During the three days, discussion had been varied. While some saw a preferred outcome of chemical enhancement of the sitting MP, no one was doubting the science indicating something had to happen. After months of itching, and catching on the top of John’s Jumper (always a troublesome neighbour), the need to act was there. This was furthered proved by many people who often see Johns Face advocating the need for change. The question was, would ‘Friends List’ have the guts to make a good strong decision? Thankfully they did. At the same time, the neighbouring constituencies of Mutton and Chop saw their sitting representatives returned, albeit with trimmed majorities.
In other news, world leaders gathering at Copenhagen had an equally stark choice to make. Either they made moves to save the future of the planet, and legally oblige themselves to stick to such plans, or they condemn the world’s poorest to suffer for the right of the rich to pollute. Unfortunately, unlike the result from John’s Face, the result was not as clear. While thousands outside the venue, and many more around the world, watched for a sign of leadership and commitment, what was returned was ‘more of the same’. Developing countries were left distraught as the status quo was returned meaning ‘further discussions’ would be needed to get somewhere.
[Edit: Since this story was published, the author noticed that the quote should have read "In the name of God, Go"... this was an editing error and I'm happy to confirm D Bradwell gave the correct quote to start with]
Take Care Y'All