Tuesday, December 12, 2006

The Return of UNCLE

At every family celebration there is one stereotype, the embarrassing uncle. Often this takes the form of some embarrassingly funky dancing. This year it appears that Britain's embarrassing uncle award has to go to Cliff Richard for his chronic "Christmas" single. Why is it chronic? I reproduce the lyrics beneath and all I'll say is looks great on paper but in reality would be sh*te. The underlying point is about how Christians connect with the world around, in particular on an institutional or organised level. Lets just say popping a whole load of buzzwords together doesn't help. Seriously, to prove my point (and for those who can't stomach watching him sing);
The satellite’s trackin’ Santa We text our Christmas list And leave our mobile numbers To help out ole’ Saint Nick. Sometimes we stop and a-wonder Has that ole’ bubble burst? Or will this Christmas morning be like the first? And tonight we still thank Bethlehem And bless the Lord for love again Bring peace on earth goodwill to men It’s the future not the past We’ll have a: First night Star bright Child of light So right 21st century Christmas Magic morn Tree adorn (?) Child is born Safe and warm 21st century Christmas Yeah….wow….. We'll microwave some popcorn Put on a DVD (??) Tim a thank you For blessing you and me Sometimes we watch and wonder Has Christmas lost its touch? Can a world beyond the money Be worth that much? But tonight as we thank Bethlehem And bless the Lord for love again Bring peace on earth, goodwill to men The future is the past Let’s have a: First night Star bright Child of light So right 21st century Christmas We got a: Magic morn Tree adorn (?) Child is born Safe and warm 21st century Christmas Yeah….yeah….oh…oh…… The satellite’s trackin’ Santa He’s got our Christmas list We left our mobile numbers To help out ole’ Saint Nick Sometimes we stop and (a-) wonder, Has that ole’ bubble burst? Or will this Christmas morning be like the first? And tonight as we thank Bethlehem And bless the Lord for love again Bring peace on earth goodwill to men The future is the past Let’s have a: First night Star bright Child of light So right 21st century Christmas We got a: Magic morn Tree adorn (?) Child is born Safe and warm 21st century Christmas Wait for snow Mistletoe Eyes aglow Ho, ho, ho, ho… Special wish Loving list (?) Hug and kiss All of this 21st century Christmas The satellite’s trackin’ Santa Got him for you and me I hope his flight is right on time He’s got my Christmas tree The microwave’s (full) of popcorn Put on a DVD And pray for peace on earth tonight It’s all we really need It’s all we really need It’s all we really need…3x and fade.... (Lyrics taken from only-lyrics.com)
To celebrate surving this overdose of dross I shall give you two wee amusing nuggets. Looking at Methodist Church reports one often ends up using shortened versions of the title, either words or initials... and I dare to tell you that satire is dead after reading these! Nature of Oversight ( a monolith of a tome that explains the nature of episcopacy, how it could feature within the current UK Methodist setup as well as all the practical, theological and historical background to the current setup) It's shortened name becomes, as it features in papers, "Noo" Future Use and Configuration of Training Institutes (A paper which re-wrote the support (withdrawing much financial support in its current form for studens) and style of pre-ordination and leadership training within the Methodist church - it includes the withdrawral of central support for some insitutions(which some claim could lead to the death of those instutions)) Its shortened name becomes, go on say it, "Fucti" Take Care Y'All John

2 comments:

  1. John, people have been locked up for less than you have done in bringing those dire lyrics to our attention.

    I think I am going to be sick!

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  2. It's fax tiny tim a thank you!

    I can't believe i actually watched that video

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